Betrayal Trauma or CPTSD?

Right now, there is a great deal of information about betrayal trauma on the internet, especially in the world of sex addiction recovery. It primarily focuses on romantic or significant relationships.

Did you know there are 6 types of betrayal trauma?

Did you know your partner’s betrayal may not be the origin of your trauma?

Did you know you are responsible for your own healing, not your romantic partner?

In 1994, Jennifer Freyd, the Founder and President of The Center of Institutional Courage, first introduced the concept of betrayal trauma or BTT. “Betrayal trauma occurs when the people or institutions on which a person depends for survival significantly violate that person’ s trust or
well-being.” Freyd has done significant work and research.

Most of her research is in institutional betrayal due to sexual violence or abuse in which the institution protects itself and not the victim/whistle blower by practicing DARVO. This occurs when the perpetrator or institution will Deny the event occurred, then Attack the whistleblower. Reverse the roles by playing the Victim and portraying the victim as the now Offender. The perpetrator and the institution they work for will go to any length to protect itself and silence the victim. Most of her work has very little to do with romantic betrayal trauma.

There are 3 main types: child and/or sexual abuse, institutional betrayal which includes subtypes such as government, corporations, academic, military, law enforcement and healthcare. Romantic betrayal is the final type.

Child Abuse and/or Sexual Abuse occurs when the child’s caregiver abuses the child physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually. The child’s trust and safety toward their caregiver has been broken. Generally, the child relies on the caregiver for their livelihood and is powerless and trapped in the ability, means, or strength to leave. We also call this a double bind in mental health and childhood development. I believe abuse also occurs when the caregiver neglects to meet the child’s basic physical and emotional needs. You will notice in my previous blogs this is appears very similar to Complex PTSD.
Institutional betrayal occurs when the institution or workplace such as a government, corporation, business, non-profits, religious organization fail to respond to the wrong doings of a perpetrator by a victim in an attempt to protect their own reputation and silence the victim. They chose not to see or believe the victim. This also can be referred to as betrayal blindness.
1. Academic betrayal most often occurs on college campuses when a person has been sexually assaulted, and the college has been unresponsive, unhelpful, and unsupportive toward the victim. I have seen this in my practice, not only between students but between professors or someone in authority over a student. The professor takes advantage of the student’s time, sexual innocence for a better grade, or future opportunity. The student often remains silent in their shame, and oftentimes blames themselves.
2. Military betrayal is still in its infancy and information is protected which should be a red flag and cause for concern alone. Victim blaming is common and a source for making PTSD worse by furthering social harm and injustices. In addition, working with clients in the military, the victim is often reminded of promotions, “traditions”, and “codes of honor.”
3. Law enforcement betrayal and police brutality is a hot topic in recent years, as more information is being reported. Research indicates the cultural minorities and the mentally ill are the most at risk from this group.
4. Healthcare betrayal is the final type of institutional betrayal when a patient’s trust is broken by someone in the health system, most often by a physician who has sexually abuse a patient. I would add this would also include nurses, dental, mental health as well as health insurance companies and any organization’s staff.
Romantic betrayal traditionally focuses on infidelity. This can also include domestic violence where the victim returns to the perpetrator, as they believe they have no other place to go. This is known as attachment injury when abandonment and rejection occur when the victim is in need. This also connects to attachment theory as the idea that a child builds a relationship with their caregiver for social and emotional development. In stressful situations, the child seeks out that caregiver for comfort.

It is now easier to understand that if a child has an emotionally, unhealthy caregiver, they are still going to attach to them, as this is all they know as “normal.” As we have learned in previous blogs on Dr Dispenza’s work about the autonomic nervous system, we will choose what is familiar over the unfamiliar regardless of it being unhealthy. Neurons that fire together in the brain will wire together. This child most likely suffers CPTSD.

Now as an adult, they will choose and attach, date, and perhaps even marry a partner who is familiar to their dysfunctional childhood caregiver(s).

We now have a little history and a more comprehensive understanding and context of betrayal trauma. We can begin to more clearly see that in the context of romantic betrayal trauma our partner is a gift, and the medicine we need to help expose these broken parts of ourselves.

Please understand I am not minimizing that you have been victimized because of your partner’s betrayal. You should be hurt and angry, for a time, but do not stay there, as that is trap. This may not be the first time this has happened to you. It is most likely forgotten mentally but now also emotionally. Love and forgive yourself to do the work and set yourself free from both betrayals. Loving yourself and that child inside are both worth it.

Can you understand now why most romantic betrayal trauma is secondary to undiagnosed and untreated Complex PTSD?

At Transformed Hearts, we do not support the victimized women-shamed men model of recovery, as it will keep the couple permanently stuck and sick.

Do you or loved one suffer from undiagnosed Complex PTSD? Find out today and take our CPTSD Self-Assessment.

Sources:

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.