You have the right to remain calm. It sounds so simple; but I realize, post pandemic, we live in a very fearful and anxious culture. People seem to be on edge and have shorter fuses than ever. The news continues to push its fear porn. It is normal and acceptable to be anxious, busy, running, and fearful. This creates sickness and dis-ease. To be calm is to be abnormal. If you want to be healthy, you are going to need to learn about to be abnormal.
The Friench word calme means to be quiet, to have tranquility. Calma in Italian is to be quiet, fair weather. Cauma in Latin refers to the heat of the mid-day sun, so adopted in the Italian language to mean a time when things are still, quiet, and restful. Calere in Latin means to be free from passion, agitation, which we could consider anger.
A balsam or balm is a spice or ointment, an aroma, perfume, or anointing used to sooth or heal. To be calm is to be still, quiet and rest free from agitation or anger. Balm is an aromatic perfume or ointment used to sooth or heal, so to be calm is to place or to be a balm on a wound, relationship or situation.
Are you a person others can learn from and rely on to bring stillness, rest, remove agitation or anger from a situation? If not, how does one learn or practice becoming calm? What if being calm is a superpower that few ever tap into?
At the time of the writing of this blog, James Allen wrote about this very thing over 120 years ago. There is tremendous wisdom and recovery principles in his simple logical approach to being calm and maintaining serenity. Much of this is very similar to present day recovery.
Allen addresses how people with explosive tempers destroy their own character and the beautiful lives around them due to the lack of self-control and the inability to remain calm. A calm person has greater success with thoughts that are controlled and pure. This person can make the stormy winds and waves of their soul obey them.
I love this because it is another way to think about the ego, which is attached to outcomes and the need to be right and in control of others.
Next, when you are calm you can think more clearly. With calmness comes clarity of thought, which creates introspection and self-analysis. This is what I call being the observer in which you observe your thoughts and feelings and the situation but detach your emotions or expectations of how you believe things should be.
Next, one must adjust by not overreacting, becoming defensive, or falling into self-pity.
This is what James Allen calls righteousness; meaning the person does what is right rather than what is selfish. I would call this doing what is wise rather than what is foolish. Thinking and behaving right now leads to pure knowledge. In perfecting oneself, they gain self-control, leading to divine knowledge by bringing order out of confusion and creating peace.
The individual has now achieved wisdom. This person is now in harmony with nature and with their conscious. They have peace of mind in that their beliefs match their behaviors, meaning to be without sin.
Now, the individual has a strong mind. At this point, the person must now shape the will. You shape the will by implementing the following steps:
- Breaking off and stopping bad habits that no longer serve you.
- Forming good habits.
- Living in the present moment.
- Doing what needs to be done in the moment and not procrastinating.
- Living with a routine or schedule.
- Controlling your tongue and what you speak.
- Controlling your mind and what you think.
To do all these things, one must be thorough by not being lazy, inconsistent, negligent, or unaccountable. This will create the cultivation of concentration; by bringing the mind to the center of their thoughts and keeping it there. This is the ability to have power and maintain concentration on the work you are doing; the ability to complete and finish a task. This is more than just opening up your pineal gland through meditation.
Through the practice of meditation, although difficult and challenging at first, creates more self‑control, self-denial, self-discipline and more power.
This power creates purpose. The mental energy gained through meditation builds intelligence and stronger purpose. Finally, one will experience great joy because now they are able to accomplish anything they set their mind to. They experience the joy of accomplishment on a regular basis.
This is so powerful; and to think, this all starts by learning how to be calm.
Do you inner-stand now why being calm is a super power?
As a Man Thinketh by James Allen 1902
The Mastery of Destiny by James Allen 1909
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Cory Schortzman Executive Director
Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.
Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.
Kerry’s books include: Ashes to Beauty the Book and Ashes to Beauty the Workbook
Co-authored books include: 101 Blogs to Transform your Life, Volume I and Offended Deceived Addicted
