Grief

Night birthed light.

Life lost this fight.

The womb, a tomb;

My twin sister!

Struggle, strife,

Death before life.

Born into hades.

Raped by circumcision,

To the blood god without my permission.

Abandoned at sea,

Rescued by the enemy.

Mother, lonely

Father, Vietnam, PTSD

No room for ME; middle of 3.

Neglected,

Wants and needs unaccepted,

Love unmet.

Farmyard unkept,

Lack and scarcity financially.

Common place.

See the dead PILED HIGH,

The living FOR SALE,

The healthy for BREEDing or EATing.

Heart breaks, Earaches

Tomato beer, cigarette butts

Steer nuts, chicken guts, roundup.

Diesel fuel.

Porn exposer.

Shame over disclosure.

Sexuality a technicality.

Castration, masturbation.

Work in the screaming,

Supper in silence.

Family secrets,

Generational sin, remaining hidden.

Divorce, division, ego, to go,

Step-parents, narcissistic arrogance

Step Siblings, added,

Two homes,

Two schools,

Two churches,

Too many unspoken rules.

The need to be right, blame and shame,

Adult egos swell, walking on eggshells.

Hurried holidays from hell.

Read the room, adjusting, listening, smiling… dying,

But… surviving, striving, heart shattered, doesn’t matter.

Don’t feel, too real, just stuff, kill then bury them.

Friends, Cousins, Grandparents, Dogs, Cats, don’t get attached.

Wear the mask for another family gathering dance.

Chained to a prison,

Only to LISTEN.

Passive, shy, bashful, boy.

“Perfect Son”

Becomes an imperfect MAN,

Suppression aggression,

Rebuke all programing in question.

Ready to EXPLODE emotionally and sexually,

Desire to be SEEN, HEARD, and FREE.

Worthy to be known, loved, unjudged,

Sharing, thoughts, feelings, beliefs,

With the LOVE of his life,

25 years patiently she waited,

Suffering, desiring, dying, daring.

Vulnerable, shameless, sharing into her caring,

Her love breaking him, healing, strengthening Him within.

Safe to be who he is and is not.

Tears without fear.

Eyes, hearts, souls, and spirits connecting, accepting.

Kisses sweet.

Intimacy deep.

What is this this emotion?

Who are you?

Buried.

Begotten, Forgotten.

Raising you from the depths of my soul.

Burrowing down

Remembering U…

GRIEF!

…for that is your name?!

No longer hidden, repressed.

Accepting,

Never Expecting U.

Undressing U.

Feeling U.

Holding U.

Knowing U.

Embracing U.

Laughing and crying with U.

Releasing You.

Grieving You.

Grateful for You.

Finally Seeing YOU!!!!!

…now loving you.

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.