Learned Helplessness

While at the University of Pennsylvania, 1967 research and psychologist, Marin Seligman, developed the term learned helplessness, as he was studying depression. I do not want to bore you with the details; however, in his research, he had three groups of dogs. Dogs 1 and 2 he placed a collar on. With random electrical shocks, the dogs learned to press a lever to end the shock. Dog 3 had the same collar along with random shocks; however, pushing or not pushing, the lever did not stop the shock. Thus, the shock was inescapable.

The dogs were then placed in a box with a barrier also known as a shuttle box. The dog would receive a mild shock from the floor of the box. Dogs 1 and 2 would then jump to the other side over the short barrier to escape the shock. Dog 3, however, due to the previous conditioning, did nothing but sit down and continue to receive the shock from the floor. The shock, or pain stimulus, was “inescapable,” even though they could have jumped to safety on the other side like their peers.

Other experiments were done, and many have built upon this over the years; however, this basic explanation is enough to provide the understanding of the term learned helplessness.

I would define learned helplessness as the inability to change or escape a physical or emotionally painful circumstance regardless of what choices may result in a positive or pleasurable outcome.

The individual feels trapped or stuck, and none of the options they have seem to be good or have positive outcomes to help them escape the pain they are experiencing.

So, what does this have to do with recovery? What does this have to do with anxiety, depression, addiction, intimacy anorexia, codependency, etc.? This will greatly help us understand and give words to what many people experience.

Many people, before or even during the recovery process, have felt trapped and stuck. The longer a person feels this way the more likely they are going to suffer from anxiety or depression. They will often seek unhealthy means to numb out with drugs, alcohol, sex, food, social media or even suicide.

Partners feels trapped and stuck for many reasons:

He is the primary income earner.
We have children to raise.
I love him.
He loves me.
I have hope.
My faith does not allow me to leave or divorce him.
What will my family and friends think?
I could never start over.

Addicts feel trapped and stuck because:

Nothing I try works.
This will never change.
Change is too painful and difficult.
Everything I have tried does not work.
The harder I try the worse it gets.
The addiction is too powerful.
No one else understands.
My parents were addicts.

Even though you feel, think, and believe you are trapped and stuck, I assure you that you are not. You may not like your options; however, if you are honest, you just don’t like any of the current options. Most people will not choose to change or escape from learned helplessness until they are in so much pain that change now appears less painful than staying where they are. Pain is a gift that motivates you. On the other side of the pain, you see the other side of the pendulum, which may provide equal, if not greater, growth and healing.

If you believe you are trapped and stuck… you are right. But if you believe you are not trapped and stuck, even though you may not like your options, you are also right. Take a chance.

The solution is to take one small step to do one thing differently today. (Read Do it Different.) Get up and jump to the other side of the unknown. You might be surprised what you discover. Your depression and anxiety may start to dissipate, because you really can teach old dogs new tricks.

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.