Sacred Sexuality

In our culture, sexuality has been so compromised. It has become objectified in our world. It has been fused and confused to mean love. Sex equals love, or love equals sex. Is this true? If this was true, prostitutes would be the most loved people in the world.

Many have been sexually abused as a child. The child being victimized is very confused in the positive physical feelings and closeness the abuse creates, and the violation of the experience creating emotional distress with guilt and shame. This sets many up for failure in adulthood. To feel loved or close to someone, I have to have sex with them. But sex carries with it the dirtiness of guilt and shame. This creates a double bind, a prison, and a paradox with no foreseen resolution. The innocent sacred human desire for connection has been distorted and fragmented.

I also think the church and other religions have not helped the cause in this area of sacred sexuality by shaming individuals and creating this culture of “sex before marriage or outside of marriage is sinful” or “you will burn in hell forever for participating in it.” “Don’t even think about it either.” “It is unholy.” In my opinion, this is fear based and a form of gaslighting.

Why would a loving God, a God who religions profess created and gave us these bodies, shame us for connecting and sharing them with a loving consenting adult partner? Many adult children who grew up in this may take several years to unlearn and deprogram from the trauma and fear of burning in hell fire; because only NOW is it okay, encouraged, holy and expected to be sexual with your partner because your married.

The other side of abuse or trauma is neglect. A child that is neglected, ignored physically or emotionally can also have tremendous difficulty connecting emotionally, spiritually, or sexually as an adult with a partner.

The theme is that of trust. In my work for almost twenty years now with couples, I have noticed that if trust is broken the couple is most likely not being sexually intimate. Why is this the case?

First, we need to understand these bodies, or what I refer to as meat suits our spirit or soul finds itself in, these amazing machines or technology if you will. God, the Creator, made them very complex.

One of the things few people know is that your body and organs store emotions. We even say things like, “I love you with all of my…heart.” Guess where the emotion of love is stored? Correct, it is in your heart. Now the heart stores other emotions, but I am not going to get into that.

Many alcoholics often die of cirrhosis of the liver or a hardening of the liver. Many alcoholics are labeled as a “raging alcoholic.” The liver stores the emotion of anger and rage.

Getting to the point here, back to the emotion of trust. Can you guess where the body stores trust? If you guessed trust is stored in the organ of the penis and vagina, you would be correct. If trust has been broken due to fidelity in a monogamous marriage, it makes sense the couple is not having sex, as the body will not allow it. Amazing isn’t it!?

Trust comes in many forms, not just fidelity, and it goes both ways between men and women. She may not trust him with not only fidelity but also with finances, doing what he says he is going to do and following through, her feelings, matters of protecting, pursuing, and leading her, etc. He may not trust her with his thoughts, feelings, dreams, the finances, shaming him for being honest or not perfect enough according to her standards. Her inability to really listen and validate his feelings as much as she expects him to validate hers. You get the point.

Both need to heal from their abuses, traumas, and neglects. If sexuality is sacred and needs to be restored from the objectification it has become to be about emotional, spiritual, and sexual INTIMACY, then the individual masculine and feminine must also be sacred. For sacred sexuality to have a chance, the sacred masculine and feminine must first be healed.

The following is a list of what the Sacred masculine and feminine can manifest.

Sacred Masculine	Sacred Feminine
Negative Energy / Wisdom / Light	Positive Energy / Love / Dark
Sun Energy	Moon Energy
Eastern Religions / Hindu / Buddhism / Islam	Western Religions / Christianity / Judaism
Wisdom / Knowledge / Organizing Understanding Info	Love / Emotion / Organizing Understanding Emotions
To Pursue and Adore	To be Pursued and Adored
Service to Self	Service to Others
Points towards Wisdom	Points towards Love
Adores Wisdom	Adores Love
Lacks Love	Lacks Wisdom
Recovery/Shadow work: Seeks to starve the emotions out of existence. Heals by recognition, perception, logic, cognition	Recovery/Shadow work: Healing through feeling emotions and accepting them. Heals by transmutation, emotional heart transformation
Healing is slow with a thousand cuts	Healing is powerful and usually very quick, immediate
5^th Density Wisdom	4^th Density Love
Lacks Love	Lacks Wisdom
When only using Wisdom, Spiritual Narcissism takes over Love. Uses Sex and love to Manipulate followers	When only using love, Passion takes over reason.
Dependent on Logic and Reason	Dependent on Faith and Feelings
Obsessed with seeking Knowledge	Obsessed with giving and receiving Love
Ego rationalizes pain out of existence	Ego magnifies the emotion of the painful events
Needs to understand the WHY to heal	Love removes the need to know the WHY
Experience connection and power to God and others in their job, money, and position	Experience connection and power to God and others in relationships
Desires physical orgasm to want to become emotional	Desires emotional orgasm to want to become physical
Pursuer, Initiator	Responder, Receiver, Multiplier

For the masculine to truly heal, he must be taken in or be consumed by the feminine and qualities of the feminine side of himself. For the feminine to heal, she must allow the penetration of the masculine and masculine side of herself inside. Both have what the other needs to heal.

This is not an easy process and is not meant be a list you can check off. It is to help us quantify and see the two sides more clearly. This is a rare example but a needed one to see and comprehend how polarity, duality, or ego balance each other in the sacred dance of sexuality back to unity and oneness.

I cannot prove this next part, and it might all be speculation; but in my recovery journey and spiritual growth, I like to think in “what ifs” sometimes. So, what if God, the Creator, did NOT create sex? This may upset and offend you.

You may be thinking, “How can you say God did not create sex!?”

What if God did not create these bodies?

What if these bodies are a prison to keep the masculine and feminine from oneness and permanent separation?

What if the original design was that of intimacy – a spiritual, high vibration, energy or meditative body that covered this soul?

Science may call it silicon or crystalline based and that we are far more durable and eternal. “Sex” was something totally different. Sex is far more than these bodies; but after “the fall,” the ease of connection and intimacy changed and became much more difficult. Science would call these bodies carbon based. Sex in these bodies is only a remnant of something far more powerful and beautiful.

So, if God, the Creator, the El, created this gift of crystalline spiritual intimacy, are we still able to experience it in these carbon physical bodies? Can we change these carbon bodies back to silicon? How can this be possible? Can it be done? The answers are IN you, not outside of you. You will have to seek the answers out for yourself.

Sources: https://www.youtube.com/c/AaronAbke.

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.