Sexual Market Value (SMV)

In our last blog, we looked at a macro or wide view of the sexual marketplace and how behavioral sexual economics works between men and women… at least in theory. We are just beginning to look at this theory, so it can be strange to think of sexual or intimate relationships being nothing more than a cold economic transaction.

As a father of four daughters and now a granddaughter, this is not easy for me to conceptualize either. It is uncomfortable and unfamiliar as much to me as to you as the reader. I am not saying I agree with the information and ask you to remain objective as you read this series. Information and facts do not care about your feelings.

In this blog, we are going to look at what specific factors or criteria quantify a person’s sexual market value (or SMV). This list is not meant to be comprehensive, and I would say it is fluid. These criteria change with a culture’s infrastructure and technology which changes what is valuable and what is not. This will help us get a better understanding of SMV.

There is a Sexual Market Value (SMV) calculator online that scores you from 1-10, depending how you answer the questions which determines your score. Answers are weighted differently so a score of 1 would indicate having a low SMV as compared to a score of 10 which would indicate having the highest SMV. The idea is that individuals with the same or matching scores would be equal partners. It can also be used to take a chance while dating people “out-of-your-league.” There are also implications of the negative impact a score might have on a person’s self-worth and confidence that may not be accurate due to what the SMV calculator defines as value and what the individual finds valuable.

Physical Attractiveness – I know this seems shallow. I am not saying I agree. I am just providing facts. Remember, facts do not care about your feelings. Attractiveness can mean looks or a person’s figure. This can include fitness, symmetry, physique, grooming, or dress style with both sexes. In men, these are things like cheekbones, jawline, or height. In women, these can refer to physical health, body ratios, height, and eye or pupil dilation. Now more than ever dating apps have created a toxic shallow dating world. A living person with a story gets less than 3 seconds before being ignored, and it is all based on looks. When comes to looks, surprisingly women are found to be more judgmental than their male counterparts. In fact, women not only are trying to sell their “real-estate” at too high a price, but they are also demanding the triple six. He needs to make six to seven figures or be at least six-foot tall.

Personality and Character – This includes things such as a person’s confidence, eye contact, the ability to accept risks, emotional expression and regulation, communication / social skills, self-expression, kindness, sense of humor, charm, intelligence,
problem-solving skills, wit, or positive energy.

Financially Responsible – This refers to a person who has the ability to earn, create, or manage their financial interests responsibly. They maintain a job or career. They have a plan for the future. They understand how money works and how to make it work for them. They are educated and ambitious in their field of interest with goals and a vision to continue to grow and learn. They are adulting well financially, relationally, spiritually, and socially.

Social Impact Behaviors Patterns – They have positive relationships professionally and personally. They are eager to help and serve others around them in their area of influence. They may be a trend setter. They have healthy boundaries with parents and siblings. They are comfortable and confident around the opposite sex. They are comfortable with their sexuality without shameful behaviors. They are responsible with food, drugs, alcohol, as well as the internet, while not showing signs of addiction(s).

So, what is the age of a man or woman at their highest SMV? According to The Value of Others by Orion Taraban, for women, it is between the ages of 18-25 and only declines as she gets older. For men, the age of 18-25 is considered their lowest SMV. Their peak SMV is between the age of 39-45 and can continue to incline for another 20 years. In short, the longer a man waits to get married, the more likely he gets a better “buy.” The longer a woman waits to get married, the more it is going to cost her and fewer men she will be interested in what she is “selling.”

However generally speaking, women are better game players at getting what they want from men more often than men getting what they want from women.

Age 30 is where the genders cross on the SMV chart. This is a point in life when both genders are most ready to settle down and start a long-term relationship. This might also be an indicator that the average age for couples getting married in the USA is 29 years old. It may be the point at which both see the other being the most useful to themselves to help them achieve their life goals.

Generally, across the centuries, men are valued for their usefulness in what they can provide, create and contribute to a society and its economy. Men are also more disposable than women, as they are expected and drafted to go to war and die. They are expected to work the most dangerous jobs with the highest rate of death. Women are valued for their usefulness over the centuries for beauty, having children, taking care of them and the home as well as supporting their husband.

A country’s infrastructure and technology has given more leverage in the sexual marketplace to women than men… at least until the market self-corrects. Men are still valued for their usefulness to provide and protect. The next generation of women are now more independent, educated, and can outearn men. Women do not need men to provide for and protect them as much anymore.

For women, social media still places high value on beauty. It appears to be as valuable as ever due to the monetized platforms. The problem is women have forgotten how to be useful outside of their beauty, because ages 18-25 does not last long. Can she cook, clean, understand money, support her man in his goals and vision for a family? Is she loving, kind, a good listener, teachable, respectful, and supportive? To a man, if a woman can do these things regardless of her beauty, she has a tremendous SMV.

**Source: The Value of Others by Orion Taraban Psy.D.**

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.