What is a spiritual awakening? I mean really what does this mean? Approaching almost 20 years in my own recovery, I am now realizing (like many things) that this did not mean what I thought it meant.
Richard Rohr states that “religion is for people that fear hell, spirituality is for people that have been through hell.”
I would contest that Rohr is correct. Having grown up in a religious home, attending religious services, events, college and graduate studies, it was mostly fear and shame based. I had several emotional encounters with what I thought was real and spiritually profound. I would describe them much like The Sound of Music with Julie Andrews, when the children were walking and running in the green field of the Swiss Alps. My spiritual awakening was more like sucking your thumb in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth.
Recovery and spiritual growth are about coming out of Stockholm Syndrome and Cognitive Dissonance.
Stockholm Syndrome is a condition in which the hostage develops empathy and compassion for their captors during an intimate, stressful event. Generally, strong emotional ties are formed toward the abuser. The name comes from the 1973 robbery in Stockholm, Sweden.
Cognitive simply means a thought, idea or belief, a mental process or perception, reasoning or judgement. Dissonance is a musical term that means a lack of harmony between musical notes, a harsh sound, or discord. It also means a lack of agreement between beliefs between one’s behaviors, a state of unrest, distress, or an unpleasant state.
First, think of Cognitive Dissonance as a state of thoughts, ideas, or beliefs being in discord or out of harmony with behaviors or behaviors being in discord with beliefs and values. We will call this Type 1.
Secondly, this also occurs when one’s mental perception or beliefs are in a state of unrest or discord with new information they are receiving, which creates an unpleasant state. This can be a stressful and unpleasant cause in one or all forms such as physically, emotionally, relationally, financially, spiritually, physiologically, etc. We will call this Type 2.
Religious beliefs are perhaps the most difficult to change and confront, as they are very deep and many of us feel as if we are betraying ourselves, family, parents, or God himself. Yet, we find ourselves in a very difficult and cornered place, being forced to face the beliefs with our back against the wall and nowhere to turn.
It is this awareness that prompts the beginning of the death of the ego.
- Stage 1: Emotional, Spiritual, Relationship Rock Bottom.
Feelings of emotional emptiness and life purpose. Is this all there is? Total confusion, pain, frustration with your life. Chronic feelings of fear of the future as well as shame and guilt of the past.
- Stage 2: Becoming aware you have an ego (fear-based voice in your head).
Childhood beliefs and behavioral patterns that no longer help you or serve you.
- Stage 3: The Hermit or Cocoon phase.
You pull inward to spend time in reflection not to isolate but for sanctuary. You question everything and everyone. You hunger to learn and research to find the truth. You end and cut off relationships that are shallow, unhealthy, or toxic. There is an internal battle between the id, ego, and superego.
- Stage 4: The Rebirth: Awake and expanded awareness.
You experience what it is like to make choices beyond and without ego, id, and superego. All 3 integrate and heal, creating peace with your soul and spirit. You have chronic feelings of peace, love, and joy of the present. You desire to begin to show a limited and decerning number of others to do the same that are in stage one.
inspired by: @theholisticpsychologist
“The Holy Spirit accepts people unconditionally. To the ego, this is an outrageous thought, because unconditional love is the death of the ego… If I am criticizing someone in order to change them, that’s my ego talking.” – Marianne Williamson.
Spiritual awakening is the end and death of religion.
Last time I checked, religion does not accept people unconditionally. Ego loves religion’s shame-based rules, judgements, and condemnations.
We often talk about in recovery, “Am I a spiritual being having a physical experience; or am I a physical being having a spiritual experience?” We never talk about or ask, “Am I a religious being having a physical experience; or am I a physical being having a religious experience?”
What if we are a spiritual beings or people who have forgotten who we are and have become religious?
Cory Schortzman Executive Director
Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.
Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.
Kerry’s books include: Ashes to Beauty the Book and Ashes to Beauty the Workbook
Co-authored books include: 101 Blogs to Transform your Life, Volume I and Offended Deceived Addicted
