Client Testimonials & Reviews of Transformed Hearts Counseling
“To date, my marriage is still getting stronger with the help of Cory and the telephone therapy. He helps to guide me to a new direction i never thought was possible in the past.” ~ I. M. (Group Client)
“Sexual addiction is an insidious sin. It is however, only a horrible symptom of a deeper problem. Sexual addiction is a disgusting way to act out or deal with the heart issue that is causing the real problem. While it is very important to stop the acting out, without changing the heart, staying clean and sober will be very difficult. Being able to stay sober by not acting out is only part of real recovery.
I believe there are 2 major issues that are most important to my recovery and sobriety.
- HEART CHANGE: Sexual addiction is driven by lust, resentment, and anger which are all problems of the heart. My heart was deceitful, selfish, self centered. Until I was able to understand this and recognize, pray, and ask for forgiveness, my attempts at recovery only lasted for a period of time. Once I faced the reality of my wicked heart and learned how to change my behavior, my recovery became genuine and real. Through counseling, reading, attending sexual addiction groups, I was able to make changes in my heart and my behavior changed. Over a period of time (several years), I was able to stop acting out and God removed much of the lust and resentment. I am still working on the anger and am making progress. The issues of lust and resentment will never be totally removed (due to my sinful nature and the world we live in), but I know how to defeat the temptations they represent. God giving me victory over the heart issues of lust, resentment and anger allowed me to maintain sobriety and not act out.
- RELATIONSHIPS: Without good, solid, consistent relationships, my recovery is weak. God created us to be in relationship-first with Him, then other people. Growing up and into adulthood, my training on how to build relationships was very poor and weak. I knew nothing about how to relate to others, let alone God. I was just superficial and tolerated many relationships. Many relationships never got off the ground. But again, with counseling, reading, and attending group meetings, my heart has opened up to understand I need other people to help with my recovery. They keep me accountable, counsel me, give me grace, and listen. Over the past 9 years, I have learned to build relationships by trusting others and being trustworthy and open. I have daily interaction with God (through prayer, Bible reading), I attend 4 group meetings a week, and I make and take phone calls. I still have a lot to learn in this area.
I am not perfect and never will be. I occasionally get wrong thoughts, feelings, temptations to the eyes, which if acted on would put me back into the addiction. But now I have training, knowledge, and accountability which keep me grounded and help me defeat these wicked issues.
I have eliminated many things to help me defeat the temptation to act out. My phone is covered by Covenant Eyes, I do not have cable or satellite TV, I have changed routes I take to places, I have limited access to the internet, and I do not surf the internet. Recovery takes daily discipline and effort to follow and create the life God wants for me-one that is free and clean from sexual addiction.” ~ W. C. (Individual Client)
“I appreciate that you were honest with the situation about my ex-husband. We tried to make things work and after I told you about the conversation we had that day, you were straight forward and very kind, but told me honestly things that I wish my friends and family would have told me. It’s so hard for me to keep focused on Christ when I’m focused on my ex, and I appreciate you helping me see through the lies.” ~ S. J. (Individual Client)
“Last session showed me I was acting in pride, being impatient and being bitter. I didn’t see it until after I left your office. Thank you for being honest and always sharing truth. Its been almost 2 years since I started, and I can say I feel free and very thankful for what I have learned and where my God has taken me. Excited for my future and future with my wife!!! It feels so good to be free!!! Love you guys!!” ~ M. W. (Individual Client)
“This was just my first session. I had my eyes opened to a lot of terminology and concepts of where I’m at. I obviously have some work to do and want to believe that Transformed Hearts can assist me in that venture.” ~ K.M. (Individual Client)
“Blog Article #8 on Intimacy Anorexia really helped me understand the pain of my present situation, –a situation I have been in for over a decade–, by defining it so precisely: the 4 withholdings; the controlling; the unavailable; the offended. Our initial video counseling session was great. I appreciate the frankness of the questions on our history of sexual expression, and the nonthreatening, nonjudgmental persona of our therapist. The rubberband on the wrist was such a simple and yet helpful tip. Extremely satisfied with Transformed Hearts so far. “
“Cory was fantastic. He calmly and wisely steps us through the thorny areas where our emotions make us pretty unpleasant to engage with. Grateful for his professionalism!” ~ E. & K. C. (Couples Counseling Clients)
“I came in the first day wanting to get a divorce and feeling hopeless/angry. Cory asked me to wait until Friday, so I did. Both my husband and I are sex addicts and sexual anorexics. We both acted out in different ways, so we were both angry. My husband did not think he had a problem until our first day. With Cory’s help we both had to face some very difficult demons within ourselves and our marriage in the intensive. However, we were willing to do whatever he told us to do to get better. Through all of the tears, anger, and couples work we did with Cory, we began to learn invaluable tools. We are now using these tools everyday and building intimacy within our marriage that I never knew I could have with my husband. We continue to attend the groups and counseling at Transformed Hearts. We want to build a marriage that the Lord has designed for us. After going through the intensive and continuing the work, I know God will bless our marriage in ways I have never experienced. He is already doing it for us and our daughter. Our entire family is happier because our marriage is blessed and healthier. Thank you so much Cory/Kerry for providing us with the tools we needed to be the husband and wife God has always planned us to be. We can never thank you enough for saving our marriage and family. I truly love my husband now more than I ever have, and the intimacy we share is unbelievable. We are still growing and working on us, but this journey is so worth it. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Transformed Hearts.” ~ K.B. (5-Day Intensive Clients)
“Wow! I am completely amazed. We are a third day removed from the end of our intensive, and the change is REAL! The first evening when we were done we went for a hike and my husband told me, “I feel more comfortable with you. I don’t feel inferior.” What a telling statement! In 20 years of marriage, my husband has never told me that he didn’t feel good enough around me, but he did push me away and withhold love and criticize. I never understood his behavior and neither did he. He realized he has a core belief of not feeling good enough that he was able to begin to let it go. The result is he can feel good in my presence. I never realized that me telling my husband that I didn’t feel love from him was to him an accusation that made him feel like a failure.
I also experienced a 180. The “5 Chairs” exercise proved to be extremely powerful. I said goodbye to insecurity, and Jesus threw it into the abyss. There is no negotiating with it anymore.
My husband and I are anxious to get to our dailies and to do recovery work. We talk at length. We have joy in our lives again. We both feel like we felt like when we first got saved: a huge weight has been lifted, we hear the voice of the Spirit, we recognize the voice of the enemy. We are quieted when we think of how easily we can be led astray and get off track, and we realize the last 20 years have been the result of that. But we are hopeful and confident about the future in a way we never have been before. Twenty years of prayer are being answered!
We had an extremely low point about a week before the intensive where we talked about the possibility of divorce. Neither of us felt like we could keep going with the way things had been. Now we are talking and making plans for the future!
Another exercise that was a game changer for me was the ‘non-traditional’ approach to forgiveness. It exposed my need to hang onto my right as accuser. It truly was a death to self. Self cried out in protest! It felt wrong to let it go. I am experiencing a new freedom since I did!
I really appreciate Cory’s laid back, unassuming style. He truly plays the role of a servant and friend in our lives. We are indebted to him and appreciate the journey he has taken, that he has been willing to confront sin in his own life and to be humbled because in turn, he’s able to speak into our lives!” ~ C.B. (3-Day Intensive Client)
“It was a fantastic experience that enabled us to share things we would have probably not shared unless we were there. I loved the flexibility Cory allowed considering our time already spent in recovery. Our marriage was dead, and with the help of Cory and the Transformed Hearts program, our marriage has been resurrected from the dead. We give all the glory to God! We will be forever grateful and will try to share our experience with all individuals and couples whose lives have been shattered from sexual addiction and intimacy anorexia.” ~ G & L N. (3-Day Intensive Clients)
“There is no price for saving a marriage or getting the healing one needs! I was scared coming alone and Cory and Marlene tailored the intensive to my needs. God is giving me great victory in my life over believing Satan’s lies and in healing me. I was at a crossroads and God used this intensive for me to be able to come back into my home, make wise decisions, and face the spiritual battle that is waging armed with His truth and His help in healing me in the process. Thank you!” ~ J. R. (5-Day Intensive Client)
“Thank you for what you do. You’ve helped me a lot. I’m grateful to God for you.” ~ B.T.
“Thank you for your help, as I process through my journey and healing. You have given me some good tools, and thank you for your acceptance.” ~ L.S.
“We have lived with the issues that brought us to Transformed Hearts for 25 years. We, spouse and I, have gotten individual counseling over the years and had marked recovery. We have also had seasons where our issues arose again. It was such a relapse that caused me to look for sex addiction counseling online where we could go together. This was our first experience in couples counseling. The 3-day intensive along with the polygraph have been highly useful in bringing about the changes that were needed for me and for my spouse….much to build upon for continued recover. The staff were professional, clearly knowledgeable, and qualified to provide the assistance we needed. We/I very much appreciated the Christian based practices. Faith in the Bible, one true God and Holy Spirit added significant dimension and results throughout the process. The Splankna treatment was highly useful and meaningful to me personally. It was maybe a turning point for my recovery or a sprint in my recovery process for positive change personally. Thank you and may God continue to use your office, your ministry for His Glory and our good.” ~ J.R. (3-Day Intensive Client)
“Thanks again for playing a role in my journey towards freedom.” ~ D.
“After years and years of working with many therapists, counselors and church leaders, struggling to figure out what the problem was, It was very helpful in understanding what was going on. Finally it all made sense. It gave us the tools we needed to recognize and deal with the intimacy anorexia. I felt supported and given tools to stand on my own. ” ~ L.P. (5-Day Intensive)
“I feel valued and validated by the Intentional Freedom Teleconference Support Group” ~ R.C. (Group Member)
“I have been struggling with addiction to pornography and masturbation for approximately 13 years. Currently, I am 80+ days sober, and I can only attribute that to the grace of God that has come to me through this group.” A.W. (Group Member)
“I want you to know that we have had a miracle in our marriage/life! Because of the wonderful work you have done in the past with us, we have saved our marriage of 20.5 years. I just wanted you to know that even some of what appears to be the least hopeful of situations can heal. I cannot thank you enough for the work you have done. We came within 2 weeks of divorcing last July. I could tell my husband had been changing so I gave it all I had (and I mean I have to work more on myself than I think he does) and we certainly are in a great place. It is not easy but possible. Please advise your couples to never give up hope, because there are miracles out there. With gratitude, S&M B.” (Couple’s Counseling Clients)
“Today, I took my family to an amusement park. Something is dramatically different in me: I saw women and men differently today. I went there believing that all women are beautiful because they are made by God not because of what I think their outer appearance means. I had real conversations with other men. I went there refusing to be the victim of anything. But above all, I went there to enjoy my family. I went there for them and with them. I was present. My son announced at lunch that “this is the best day of my life.” My wife and I flirted and laughed like we haven’t in probably 14 years. Cory, I am so grateful to you for all your help. You helped me see that being the victim and having a defense-based recovery would only lead to more defense-based recovery. Today I went on the offense and kicked Old Me (and probably some demons) in the teeth. It was the best day of my life, too. Thank you so much!” ~ A.H. (Client)
“It was an amazing, God-ordained, painful yet healing week. I was astounded by the results of the Splankna treatment and the deepest memories and emotions that surfaced. I am deeply grateful to Cory and his team for the time and care that they poured into me, ushering in healing to my deepest wounds. I know God graciously brought me to Transformed Hearts as part of my healing journey, and I pray that many more people will be blessed as I have been to be a part of it.” A. F. (Splankna Intensive)
“We are communicating with more emotional maturity and not blaming the other person. You’ve taught us about the sexual glue and peptin release so this makes perfect sense. I now trust and believe there is no porn around. I feel like for the first time he is bonding to “only me” versus all the fantasy images and all the women he sees. I finally feel like I am not sharing him with 100 different fantasies. I truly appreciate you and all that you do. Thank you for being so patient. Just having you hear me and state all that you did helped me to let go and forgive a huge piece that was blocking me on my road to recovery. I thank you for your wonderful presence and fearless attitude with healing such deep rooted sexual dysfunction that hits at the core! You truly are a gift to the world, and I know you will and already are so blessed beyond measure! I feel like I can breathe now! I just wanted to let you know how powerful your counseling sessions are. You are doing divine work on earth!!!” ~ K. R.
“The most intense two weeks of our lives, effects are still with us as we work to make a change that will rearrange the course of our lives.” ~ T. T.