“Scandal! Dark Secrets! Sexual Secrets. Sex Scandal. Molestation. Child Molester. Pedophile. Sexual Abuse. House of Horrors. Show Hangs in the Balance. Hypocrites. Duggars Lied. Josh Resigns. Josh Confesses.”
I don’t know about you, but I am fed up! The only thing scandalous about the story of the Duggars is the media fabricating a scandal. This story came to my attention late last week. At first, I did not believe the story was true. However, after further reading, sadly, the story appeared to be credible.
As a mental health therapist who specializes in sexual addiction and having spent 6 years working in a state prison system working with men who had committed every type of crime, including sexual offenses, there is not much I haven’t heard. I have learned not to believe what people say but what people do.
There are many reasons why a young teen male might do the things he did. At worst, he may have been sexually abused. He may have been exposed to pornography. He may have become curious and came up with this deviant behavior with his own imagination. At any rate, what he did he admitted, owned and has taken responsibility for it. This is what responsible, mature men do.
As the father of four daughters, I will do everything I can to protect their innocence and purity. This type of behavior is always traumatic to anyone who has experienced sexual violation. It appears the victims have been provided help and may continue to need further help and healing in the future. Experiences and behaviors like this always has consequences.
The media appeared to be a friend to the Duggars, but who needs enemies when you have friends like that? I’m not surprised, because the media is all about making money. Making a deal with the media is like playing with fire. It can keep you warm, but it can also burn you. They know that to make money the two hottest things to sell is fear and sex. The media has become the National Enquirer of my childhood. There is not real true journalism anymore. The present liberal media is a mouth piece for a liberal government. It is all about a calculated agenda. It no longer keeps the government in check. Instead, it has turned on the public it was designed to protect. This is a scandal.
I have a lot of questions for the media, not the Duggars. They have done the best they could with what they had. They struggled with filing a report like any parents who love their children would, but they did the right thing. What I do not understand is that this incident happened 12 years ago, two years before their show started. A second incident happened 9 years ago, a year after the show started. Why are we just hearing about this now? All this happened when Josh was a minor, under the age of 18. How did the media get a hold of a police report and records of minor that should be forever sealed and confidential? Why was there no investigation about the sealed records of a minor being made public? Is the police report even original or a fake? If it is real, who released it and why? This is a criminal act. This is a scandal.
Josh is now married with three children of his own. He is a productive citizen of society without any adult criminal record. He was a key leader at Family Research Council, a conservative political group that advocates for the conservative values he believes in. Josh was beginning to gain political influence and supported other key conservative political figures.
Did the media see Josh Duggar as a future threat? Did the opposite party see him as a threat? Was this an attempt to discredit this young man for a political purpose? Are we to believe that the media we have all come to know and love has the best of intentions for family values and preservation? Are we to believe the media is concerned about the sexual abuse of children yet is silent about the child sex trafficking going on in our own neighborhoods? Are we to believe the media is not aware of ISIS killing people of faith and then selling girls (9 and under) into sex trafficking? Nothing but silence.
We are supposed to believe the media is all about women’s rights. When was the last time you read a news story about the horrific practice of female circumcision? Again, silence. Yet, the media is so genuinely concerned about the victims of Josh Duggar. Are we to believe the media has perfectly, flawlessly and successfully raised children of their own? Since we all know they have, they are justified to be in this place of judge, jury and executioner.
Let us go back to believing behavior. Here is the behavior I see from the media. They accuse, blame, and criticize. They are about protecting themselves. The media harbors contempt, intolerance, bitterness and fear. The media is all about shaming you into submission and silence. They take responsibility for nothing. They believe people of faith who homeschool their children are ignorant, closed minded and stupid and that the Bible is not relevant, as it is restrictive and keeps you from having fun.
The media is like a child or adult who has to use more audacious words to get the attention they desire or to get someone to believe them. It is a little child that has not grown up. This is what I call victim behavior. The media has imploded and will continue to, as thousands of newspapers have gone bankrupt all over the country in the last several years and have had to restructure. Media, the behavior of the public tells me they think you are irrelevant. Thanks to technology anyone can now be a writer, publisher, editor, videographer or reporter. We don’t need you.
Here is the behavior I see, as I have observed the Duggars. They were a successful family before a TV show, and they will remain a successful family without a TV show. They are kind, loving, caring, respectful, creative, organized and generous. They will continue to prosper as people of faith who follow and have a healthy fear for the Word of God. They are an amazing family who lives debt free with 21 amazing kids who are going to change the world with their values. I believe the media fears this.
How many families do you know that live debt free with only 3 children who love, honor and respect their parents? When was the last time you homeschooled a child – let alone 21 children? They are overcomers of adversity building their own home with their own hands…debt free. They run their own businesses. They are people of faith who are blessed and will continue to be blessed.
I have personal experience that when a dark, shameful story becomes public, there are no more secrets, and you take responsibility for your choices and begin to live in the light, you become truly free. With this freedom comes influence and with influence comes power that no one can ever take away from you. I see a very bright future for the Duggars.
Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.
Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.