The Religious Ego

As we continue to unlearn what we think we know, I have unfortunately discovered religion to be no different. It has caused me and my family tremendous grief and heartache to awaken to this reality. Few religions practice what the word religion means, which means to bind, to tie, tie down, or fasten to something. However, it is derived from the latin word religio. However, another root; religere means to turn inward, to connect through recollection and self-reflection. Religion was once a way of building spiritual connection from the inside out. Not the outside in as most religions would tell you.

Patricia Evans in her book, Controlling People, does a great job explaining that not only people, personal and professional relationships, and institutions such as education, government, gangs, cults, hate groups, and religions can all fall into this paradigm of one’s identity being formed from the outside in.

Many religions teach you need a building, leader, pastor, priest, or guru outside of you to find heaven out there. We have been misled to keep coming back and giving time and money. It is all backwards. Remember, since the fall, everything is upside down and backwards.

I have spent a significant amount of time reading and writing about the Ego and how it helps us as well as how it hurts us. Ego is all about being “right” and others being “wrong.” Ego is always attached to an outcome regarding how someone or something should be according to you. It is all about separation, disconnection, dualism, and polarity. It loves labels and titles and wants you for itself, keeping you isolated in fear, lack, and the appearance of safety. It loves to judge and manipulate. It enjoys being offended while blaming others and keeping you in a victim mindset.

There are political, scientific, medical, technological, spiritual, and religious egos. I believe political and religious egos are perhaps the most difficult to unlearn and overcome as they are so deeply embedded into our psyche, as they also are a part of our social, cultural, and family communities. To question them threatens the very thing ego tells us that we are.

I think Seminary was eye opening, as none of my professors agreed on many of the same things theologically. They agreed on the seminary statement of faith to work there; but after a while, you began to see they all had different and sometimes very strong opinions about women’s roles in the church, the tribulation, and forms of worship. They all attended different denominations if they even attended church at all outside of seminary grounds. The religious ego was strong, and most every professor had written one if not several books on their belief of what was “right,” as they interpreted the Scriptures.

For years now, I have been saying that I am done with Churchianity. What the church has taught me is not what the words of the Christ actually said, as we discussed in the previous blog. Another example: Christ never said anything about writing songs about Him, falling on your knees or raising your hands to worship Him every Sunday while putting money in the offering plate as it passes you by to help pay for an overstaffed church who all drive nicer cars than most of the people attending the church. You then are privileged to listen to a sermon about what an awful sinner you are, feel ashamed, repent, leave and come back next week to do it all again. Christ never led by messages of shame…ever!

Warning Signs You might have a Religious Ego

Your religion covertly demands conformity.
Its leader(s) have knowledge you do not and only they can access it. (Outside/In vs. Inside/Out).
The leader(s) are not accessible or to be questioned or challenged.
You become easily triggered or offended when your religious beliefs are questioned or challenged by outsiders.
Your religion and its members are bonded by what it stands against.
Your religion measures success by conversions.
Your religion or denomination is the only one that will gain you eternal life.
Your religion or denominations teaches an angry God with a lot of rules that you are to fear.
Your religion teaches God’s Kingdom is out there somewhere.
Your religion teaches love, but its leader’s behavior and messages are controlling, manipulative, and shaming.
You have few, if any, friends who do not share the same religious beliefs.
It is difficult for you to love people who do not fit your religious expectations in regard to how they should live their lives.
Using the God Card, you have made statements like, “God told me,” or “God is on my side.”
Those who have left the religion have been shunned, excommunicated, or cut off.
Your religion uses the problem, reaction, solution paradigm to keep people in fear and to never leave.
You know you are “right,” because you live by faith and feelings.
You refuse to apply logic, reason, or do your own deep research.

If you have honestly answered yes to any of these statements, you probably struggle with a religious ego, and you are going to have to experience some spell breaking, as you are unknowingly living under a spell. This information may have already put you into cognitive dissonance, and you may be feeling uncomfortable.

The body does not like the unfamiliar. Your ego will already be trying to convince you that this is “bad,” and you are “right.” This information is “wrong”. That’s okay; just be patient with yourself. I am not trying to be “right.” I know this can be tremendously upsetting. I am just delivering the mail; I did not create it.

Here is another question for the Church. Why does the Church teach a homosexual Trinity? Think about it. Get away from your feelings. Get into logic and reason. The church teaches there is a Father, Son and Holy Spirit. In the New Testament, the Holy Spirit is always referred to as “He,” why? How do two males have a child? This makes no sense.

In the next blog, we are going to look at questions the religious church does not want to answer, and oftentimes, has no answer. It’s getting uncomfortable. You are going to be okay. Hang on tight, as we wake up and unlearn.

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.