BIG T & Little t Trauma / Transformed Hearts Counseling

Not all trauma is the same. The individual journey is unique. However, the destination of the finish line provides freedom for everyone. Generally, trauma is thought of as being related to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or the source of one’s PTSD being from military service or a major disaster. This is true; however, there are many more causes of PTSD. The person will not always have a conscious memory of a Big T trauma.

Unknown to most, PTSD is very treatable, and it is not a permanent condition. Triggers and flashbacks are more related to the physical senses of taste, touch, smell, sounds, and sight, which create a flood of emotions of powerlessness, hopelessness, entrapment, etc. The person who has a present trigger, such as the smell of smoke, and takes in the moment of being trapped in a burning car twenty years ago may react or overreact in the present moment that may not be life threatening.

Here are some examples to consider. Can you think of any you would add to the list?

Big T Traumas

Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Religious Abuse
Verbal Abuse
Survivor of a Vanishing Twin before birth
Childbirth
Circumcision
Vaccinations
War
Car Crash
Home Burning Down
Weather-Related Disasters
Betrayal
Substance Abuse Use or Overdose
Anything causing fear, endangerment or a threat to one’s livelihood or safety

Little t traumas can be easily overlooked, as they do not seem to fit into the PTSD model. However, that does not mean they are any less harmful. In fact, I think small t traumas can be even more difficult to overcome, because they are less detectable yet cause more distraction and pain in the person’s personal and professional relationships. The lessor known Complex PTSD is different in that the flashback starts with a negative emotion of feeling overwhelmed, lack, anxiousness, depression, feeling unsafe, angry, disrespected, jealous, sad, rejected, neglected, or rejected, etc. These feelings have been with the child, now adult, their whole life and are so “normal” and familiar they do not consider them an issue to address. It’s much like the white noise of a fan. You do not notice the noise until you shut it off.

Take a minute and review the list below. Are there any small t traumas you can think of in your own life?

Little t Traumas

Being told you are not good enough
Humiliation, Blaming or Shamed-Based Parenting
Racial, Gender, Age, Cultural, Financial Inequality
Being Bullied
Gaslighting, Double-Bind Relationships, Passive/Aggressive Behaviors
Being Isolated or left Alone for Long Periods of Time
Rejection, Abandonment
Being an Unwanted Pregnancy or Child
Neglect of Basic Physical Needs, such as food, shelter, clothing
Neglect of Emotional Needs
Neglect of Love
Neglect of Touch
Neglect of Safety
Limited Belief Systems or Lack
Having to take care of your parents or caretaker
Given too many responsibilities at an inappropriate age
Not being allowed to be heard or have a voice

The fan noise, or these negative emotions, are so familiar it becomes uncomfortable and unfamiliar to live without the fan noise when these emotions are taken away. The person will feel threatened, uncomfortable, and their body or the autonomic nervous system will convince them that it is “wrong” to take steps towards change.

Both types of traumas cause depression, anxiety, and tremendous pain for themselves and those who love them.

Take some steps to heal from your Big Ts and small ts. Take an unfamiliar and uncomfortable step today, and take the CPTSD Self-Assessment.

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.