Resilience is needed to remain sober in recovery.
It takes hard work, and you have to make difficult choices.
Change will be hard, and you will have to make sacrifices.
Addicts are very resilient people.
Don’t believe me?
They go to great lengths to plan, plot and scheme how they are going to get their next fix.
Against all odds, addicts figure out a system to beat and overcome all obstacles to get their drug of choice.
They stay up late, go without food, lie, cheat, steal, hustle, panhandle, barter, or come up with creative stories of what they were (or were not) really doing as well as with who and why.
Addicts use anything and everything at all costs to protect their addiction and its secrets.
Addicts are resilient!
If only addicts would put half…or one fourth…of the time, energy and resources in to their personal or professional lives, success would be off the charts.
Yet, once in recovery, it is amazing how these resilient behaviors that made them so successful in their addiction appear to have been lost or forgotten.
They begin to wake up to the reality of the damage that has been done by them.
They are filled with guilt and shame, which makes them want their addiction even more.
They often become depressed, hopeless and even suicidal.
But, there is hope!
There is always hope with support and the help of others.
The addict can channel this talent of resilience toward a life of freedom and not a life of death and destruction.
There are 9 traits I have seen resilient people have in recovery.
- They see the problem for what it is.
- In addition, they do not make the problem worse than it is.
- This takes honesty and the ability to stop lying to themselves.
- They begin to take responsibility for their behaviors.
- They stop accusing, blaming and criticizing others.
- They realize they are the common denominator in all of their relationships and problems.
- This than means they are also 100 percent the solution to their problems.
- They desire to make a change.
- Change is always scary, because it is different and unknown.
- Resilient people in recovery makes changes because they “want to” not because they “have to.”
- They have creativity.
- They come up with creative ideas to make things happen.
- They begin to brainstorm and think of creative ways to make changes.
- They might copy people before them.
- They research ideas and even come up with a way no one has ever done before.
- They have a plan.
- They are obedient.
- They have a willingness to stick to the plan regardless of the obstacles or distractions they face.
- They are intentional.
- They are intentional with the small details in their daily life.
- They are hungry for answers and the truth.
- They know what they fill their mind, body, and soul with is what it will crave.
- They make difficult choices to change their diet, how they spend their time as well as what they read, watch and listen to.
- They are consistently consistent.
- They follow a daily routine.
- They follow a schedule and learn how to control their schedule and not let others or their schedule control them.
- They understand the power of saying “no.”
- They are accountable to others.
- They have authority in their lives‑people who will call them out on their own junk.
- They are teachable and seek mentors who have been successful before them.
- The overcome the fear of failure.
- They have a willingness to make mistakes and laugh at themselves when they do.
- They understand the failure is part of the process and allows them to be one step closer to their goal.
- They quickly forgive themselves and others.
- They quickly let go and move on from people who have hurt or disrespected them.
- Most importantly, they learn how to forgive themselves for their past mistakes.
- They remove themselves from toxic situations and relationships.
If you are an addict, you are more resilient than you might know or understand.
A new life is waiting for you.
A successful life is waiting for you‑more than you can even imagine.
Become the super hero you were born to be!
Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.
Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.