Many of you have watched or read the news about a well-known home school family with a reality TV show who have been under great scrutiny by the media, viewers and non-viewers alike. What I find so interesting is that believers and non-believers cannot come to an agreement regarding the issue at hand. Everyone continues to accuse, blame and criticize each other on blog posts and social media feeds.
Even in my own recovery, Cory and I have prayed our pain would never be wasted. God’s Word never returns void. This family has spoken God’s Truth over and over and been a testimony of His great love. I’m thrilled that the Lord is using this as an opportunity for people to begin to talk openly about Christ. I’m finding people freely discussing God’s attributes and questioning their own faith. I’m thankful God can redeem what the enemy meant to harm God’s people in order to bring glory and honor to Himself.
However, what I also find so fascinating is the common theme that so many people believe that “Christians” should live perfect lives, as we should be “above reproach”. While this is our goal, many believe we are hypocrites, because we fall into temptation and sin. I remember many of my junior high and high school classmates placed me in this category as well as many of my work colleagues throughout the years.
If there were perfect people in the world, there would be NO NEED for a Savior. Why on earth would Christ come to die for our sins if there were perfect people without a need for saving? The Bible clearly states ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Christians are SINNERS just like everyone else! They are perfectly imperfect human beings who have struggles and failures just like non-believers. They are no better or worse than the next person. So why are we so surprised when one falls into sin?
In my research and studies on the offended heart, I’m realizing many of us who claim to be “Christians” are not living by the law of grace that has been extended to us. Instead of extending grace and offering a helping hand to lift up each other, we beat each other down to the ground in order to puff ourselves up. Even when my husband disclosed his addiction, I called what I assumed was a close religious friend of mine. Unfortunately, I shared my heartache with the wrong person, as I felt terribly beaten down when I hung up the phone filled with shame for everything I had done wrong to feed my husband’s addiction, according to my so called friend.
You see, those who have had a need for grace to be extended to them are more willing to extend grace to others. It is prideful and arrogant to think that you are above another person. We are all simply one choice away from making a foolish decision ourselves.
Remember the story about the woman by the well? Everyone was ready to cast the first stone at her. Then, Jesus starts writing in the sand. Many people believe He was listing the sins of those standing to condemn her. One by one they all slowly leave and realize they cannot kill this woman for her sinful act when they themselves have much that needs to be forgiven. So too should this be with us today. We should not be the first to throw stones at each other. Life is hard enough the way it is. We need to first do some self-reflection to see if there is any offensive way in us. Are you without sin to be the judge, jury and executioner of another person? Would you like us to post blog after blog, post after post and video after video about all your sins on a national platform?
For those of us who have lived with secret sins, we know the toxicity it brings to our life. It is like growing cancer that slowly kills us inside. There is a reason the 12th step in recovery is to share your story with others. If you aren’t willing to be vulnerable and admit you are flawed AND loved, you haven’t yet experienced what I believe is true inner healing. It’s not only the head knowledge about what grace is but also the heart knowledge AND the ability to extend that grace to others. You begin to see people through the eyes of Christ. Only then can you truly come alongside and share one another’s burdens as instructed in God’s Word. So before posting another comment or gossiping with a friend, think about what God may be writing in the sand for others to learn about your need for forgiveness and grace.
My husband recently traveled to Texas with a group of leaders from The Sanctuary Church in Colorado Springs. They have an invitation card that reads,
This is the heartbeat of our business. If you are one of those people who has fallen into temptation and sin, know that you are more than welcome here at Transformed Hearts Counseling Center.
Kerry Schortzman is the Director of Operations at Transformed Hearts Counseling Center as well as an author and speaker. She has traveled the road of recovery alongside her husband through the wildfires of intimacy anorexia. She has a heart and passion to see healing and restoration in relationships and marriages as well as to bring public awareness to eliminate sex and human trafficking. Kerry has been married since 1998 and lives in Colorado with her husband and four daughters. She and Cory have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery.
Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.