Obstacles to Intimacy Series
~Exploring God’s Gift of Intimacy~
In the Obstacles to Intimacy Series, we discussed Obstacle #1: Sex Addiction, Tips & Tools to Overcome Obstacle #1, Obstacle #2: Intimacy Anorexia, How We Become Intimacy Anorexics, Reactive Intimacy Anorexia, The Anorexia Cycle, Tips & Tools to Overcome Obstacle #2, Obstacle #3: The Offended Heart, and The Victim/Victor Cycle.
Cory highly recommends to all his clients with an offended heart to read this book entitled, The Bait of Satan by John Bevere. In Bevere’s book, he provides some examples of living IN offense, as we like to refer to it. We have also included some of our own examples below as well.
Example #1: Lucifer, the Fallen One
I would like to suggest to you that the reason a third of the angels fell from heaven was due to some type of offense, real or imagined, that they perceived. This was an offense toward God Himself, which later turned into betrayal and the ultimate casting down from heaven.
Example #2: Adam & Eve
As you all know the story, Adam and Eve were told they could eat of any tree in the garden with the exception of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Make note here that God gave them abundance – victor thinking mentality. However, when the snake approached Eve, his first mention was that God forbid them from eating from that one tree. Do you see the scarcity minded, victim mentality here? There was more than enough luscious fruit for Adam and Eve to eat in the Garden of Eden.
The snake eventually convinced Eve she should be offended by the Lord for withholding the fruit from the one tree in the garden. She was easily deceived, easily offended and then ate the fruit. Now, when Adam approaches, he too eats the fruit Eve offered him.
When God asks them what happened, what is Adam’s first response? Accuse, blame and criticize. The woman YOU put here with me gave me the apple. Adam accused God for giving him Eve, and blamed Eve for giving him the apple. Again, the enemy was working on getting both to feel offended. Then, they betrayed God.
Example #3: Cain & Abel
Many know the story of the sons of Adam and Eve. God was pleased with Abel’s offering to Him; however, He was not pleased with Cain’s offering. Cain became so offended with his brother and eventually killed his own flesh and blood. Again, the enemy’s tactic – the Bait of Satan – worked on Cain. He was offended and later betrayed his brother.
Example #4: Judas
Author Rick Renner suggests that Judas was offended when a woman poured an entire jar of very expensive perfume over Jesus’ feet. Many among them immediately exclaimed, “Why waste this expensive perfume? We could’ve sold it for a year’s wages or given it to the poor”. They didn’t realize she did this to prepare Jesus’ body for burial. Jesus was pleased with this and stated, “The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them anytime you want. But you will not always have me.” After hearing this, Judas became offended in his heart. Only a few verses later in Matthew 26 (or Mark 14) he goes directly to the Chief Priests and betrays Jesus. The enemy once again delivers his bait and ensnares another ailing heart to become easily offended and betray the Son of God. Later, we discover he was so distraught, he hung himself.
So my questions for you are twofold: Are you living as a victim or a victor? Are you living IN offense or ON offense? In my next blog article, we’ll discover what living ON offense means.
Kerry Schortzman is the Director of Operations at Transformed Hearts Counseling Center as well as an author and speaker. She has traveled the road of recovery alongside her husband through the wildfires of intimacy anorexia. She has a heart and passion to see healing and restoration in relationships and marriages as well as to bring public awareness to eliminate sex and human trafficking. Kerry has been married since 1998 and lives in Colorado with her husband and four daughters. She and Cory have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery.
Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.