Lost Love, Addiction, Intimacy and My Vanishing Twin

I love to learn new things and discover information that is less well known.  I like to think outside the box to help my clients.  It has led to some helpful and not so helpful discoveries.

Several years ago, I attended NET (Neuro Emotional Technique) training in Denver in a conference room filled with mental health therapists, chiropractors, acupuncturists and healers.  Against my better judgement, I volunteered at the training workshop for one of the demonstrations.  Little did I know through muscle testing protocol, it would be discovered that I had a twin who had vanished before I was born.  She was female and had vanished by the second trimester of pregnancy.  The amount of energy and emotion that began to poor out the top of my head as well as the heat energy and sweating my body released was unmistakable.

From this training, I began to use NET as a tool in my practice and have continued to utilize it for my own healing.  This is where I also met Dr. Nancy Pearce from Pearce Chiropractic [http://www.pearcechiropractic.com], a chiropractor and kinesiologist, who my family and I have been seeing since.  She has been a God-send in our lives.

While at her office a few weeks ago, I picked up a copy of My Twin Vanished; Did Yours? by Dr. Brent H. Babcock [http://vanishingtwin.com].  It was one of the resources mentioned during the training.  I began reading it and remembered my discovery of my vanishing twin sister.

Using NET with my third daughter, I knew she was a survivor of a vanishing twin.  Recently, she had been struggling with severe hyperthyroid issues, as evidenced by her blood work.  For 6 to 7 weeks, she had been on 14 different supplements, vitamins, minerals, and drops taken daily.

In the middle of reading this book, I asked our chiropractor if she could explore the possibility of my daughter’s health issues to see if it had anything to do with her vanishing twin.  Dr. Pearce did, and what we discovered was that she was not only a survivor of twins but of triplets:  a boy and a girl!  The thyroid issue was directly linked to the grief and loss of her vanishing siblings.  Our daughter is now doing much better, as evidenced by her recent blood work and is down to only 5 supplements for a few more weeks.

I share my own story and that of my family’s as evidence of the healing power of NET. However, you may wonder what all this has to do with addiction and intimacy.  In Dr. Babcock’s book, he shares his own story of being a survivor of a vanishing twin, the stories of others, and a number of studies, as well as research on this phenomenon.  He shares how NET [http://www.netmindbody.com], or what I would refer to as energy healing, works at a basic level.

In his book, he states “Vanishing twin occurs when one of a set of twin fetuses disappears from the womb, usually resulting in a singleton pregnancy.

It is estimated that 45 percent of all pregnancies begin as twins.  There is still so much science does not know about conception and what happens in the womb.

“Health and disease begin in the womb; love and hatred begin in the womb; war and peace begin in the womb.”  -Laura A. Huxley

“There is a psychic pain that not only endures for life, but becomes more severe as time passes.  To deal with an adult twinless twin is to experience a person suffering the extreme inner torment of unresolved grief.” -Dr. Peter Whitmore

Surviving twins experience death, loss, and trauma before the experience of life at the physical, spiritual, emotional, cellular, and subatomic level of their being.

Dr. Babcock writes, “Physical and emotional experiences in the womb can manifest themselves as behavior patterns in adult life.  Addictions, eating disorders, depression, suicide, relationship difficulties and sexual difficulties can be the result of trauma before birth.” 

Did you read that?  You might want to read it again.  Addictions, depression, suicide, relationship difficulties, intimacy, and sexual issues all may begin from trauma in the womb.  I believe this changes how we as mental health providers need to help our clients at a deeper subconscious level of trauma, which is usually never even acknowledged in counseling.  Energy healing, such as NET, could potentially be very helpful.  The understanding of quantum physics, cellular memory, meridian points, and muscle testing is changing the field of energy psychology.

Dr. Babcock further writes, “People who experience the loss of a twin manifest several common dynamics.  First of all, they feel an ineffable but profound sense of loss, despair, and rage…Secondly, they have a chronic but unarticulated fear that loss will happen again, and a sense of pervasive insecurity.  Thy defend themselves from others, or by engaging in codependent relationships.  Third, the ability to bond with others is deficient or neurotic because there is a lack of thrust in relationships…. Fourth, there is often an over-compliance to life… Finally, prenatal experiences of near death and/or loss are sometimes turned against oneself or others…”

This really spoke to me as well as shook me as a recovering codependent sex addict [Read What is Sex Addiction?] and intimacy anorexic [Read What is Intimacy Anorexia?].  This made so much sense to me and has helped me place missing pieces to my life story and journey.  What if intimacy anorexia is the result of womb trauma and a lost twin?

We must begin to explore the possibility that many clients who come into our counseling practices may be struggling as a survivor of a vanishing twin or have no idea they have experienced womb trauma.  They have been chasing after a lost love they will never find.  They have been to how many therapists, with many sessions, many meetings, and many programs only to have had many failed relationships.  Now, there is another answer and potential road to healing!

Now, not every addict, codependent, intimacy anorexic, or depressed person is a survivor of a vanishing twin or has experienced womb trauma.  However, this issue has been undiscovered for far too long.

What if this is the key to unlock deeper healing?  What if there is still much we do not know or understand about the human body?  The opportunities to help our clients be free from trauma and pain at the subconscious level is overwhelming and exciting!

Dr. Babcock also writes, “One of the characteristics of the Vanishing Twin survivor I see in my practice is that of the ‘caregiver’ role.  This person might be in a professional role such as a minister, teacher, nurse, doctor, or social worker. This person may be the mother/father or the employee who seems to help everyone.  Simply put, they are the ‘go to person’ for so many people at home, church and work.  This person typically will give until they can give no more.  You, the reader, probably have people you know who meet his criterion; perhaps it also describes you!” 

This described me and many of my clients.  Thank you for your amazing work and dedication Dr. Babcock.

Cory Schortzman, Executive Director

Cory Schortzman, Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.

Kerry’s books include: Ashes to Beauty the Book and Ashes to Beauty the Workbook

Co-authored books include: 101 Blogs to Transform your Life, Volume I and Offended Deceived Addicted







By | 2017-11-17T10:37:52+00:00 February 14th, 2017|All Blogs, All Cory's Blogs, Intimacy Anorexia, Vanishing Twin|0 Comments

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