Cory-Isms (Recovery Slogans)

Over the years, I have adapted and created my own recovery statements, slogans, sayings or what is known as Cory-isms. An ism means to take action, a behavior, a practice, to take a side with, or an imitation of. This can help take complex ideas and make them simple with only a few words.

Many clients have informed me that after their intensives they or their partner remind each other of statements I made during their therapeutic intensive. Now, that is not always a positive thing for many since my name has become a household swear word with colorful adjectives.

Here are some Cory-isms stated not only in my office but also in many recovery meetings and programs. Feel free to use them or share them if they are helpful and make a list of your own that have changed your life.

Do not believe anything Cory says.
Seek the truth for yourself.
I am not your Savior.
I am not your Guru.
Do not be codependent with me.
You do not have to like me, but you will get better if you do the work.
You will get out of this what you put into it.
If you give 100%, you have 100% chance of getting better.
If you give 10%, you have a 10% chance of getting better.
I am not on your side or your partner’s side.
I am on the side of sanity. What you are both doing is insane.
I will not be a part of your sick system.
Freedom is not free; you will have to fight for it.
Your emotions are real but not always reality.
Say what you mean, mean what you say.
Your partner’s anger shows that they still care and love you.
Apathy shows war is coming.
Silence is violence.
Believe behavior, not their words.
You get what you pay for.
In the midst of your suffering is tremendous spiritual growth.
Stay on your side of the street.
You get an “A+” in codependency today!
Be the change you want your partner to be.
Put the oxygen mask on yourself first and the marriage second.
Recovery is a selfish program.
Have gratitude in all things “good” AND “bad.”
Your partner is holding up a mirror to what you need to work on.
The most difficult person to deal with in this process is the person in the mirror.
You are not wrong.
You are right.
You can be right… or you can be free.
If that is working for you, what are you doing in my office?
Your Ego is not your Amigo.
Ego has you convinced you, you are this body, this meat suit.
Ego has you convinced you, you are your thoughts and feelings.
Ego has you convinced you, you are your beliefs.
Ego has you convinced you, you are your titles and labels.
If your Egos win, the relationship loses.
Let go of being “right.”
Let go of your attachment to outcomes.
Let go of what you think your partner “should” and “should not” being doing.
Don’t let yourself be should-upon.
You will never change your partner.
Validation is not about “winning” or “losing.”
The most difficult thing about recovery is not learning new things.
The most difficult thing about recovery is unlearning what you think and believe is true.
What do you like, love, or appreciate about yourself?
Stop living in self-confidence, start living in your God-fidence.
You are worthy.
You do not have to consent.
Thank you, I receive that.
No thank you, I do not receive that.
You have been victimized, but you no longer need to live as a victim.
We do not practice the Victimized Women and Shamed Men Model here.
Set boundaries.
Boundaries are not about punishing your partner.
Boundaries are about protecting yourself.
You are worthy to have wants and needs and express them.
Start saying “no.”
When you say “yes” then change your mind to a “no,” you are the Zero.
When you say “no” upfront, then later come back with a “yes,” you are the Hero.
If you need a reason to say “no,” you have my permission to blame your therapist, Cory.
Be the observer of your life.
Life choices are not about being “right” or “wrong”.
Life is about making choices that are either wise or foolish for you.
What is wise for you may be foolish for someone else.
Do the next wise thing.
Start listening to your gut, intuition, and Holy Spirit inside of you.
Marriage is not about making you happy, it is about making you holy.
Your partner is not responsible for your happiness.
Why do you burden your partner with making you happy?
You will reap what you have sown.
You have sown bitter seeds, so now you must eat the bitter fruit.
Majority of couples do not know what love is.
Love for most couples is judgement, manipulation, and coercion to fit their own expectations.
I do not care who is at fault in this relationship.
I want to know who is the responsible one in this relationship.
Stop being the zero and start being the hero.
I am not interested in what you want from your partner.
I am interested in what you are willing to give to this process or let go of.
Move out of either/or thinking and into AND.
AND spelled backwards is DNA.
The recovery process will change your DNA at the cellular level.
I am further down the road but just a close to the ditch as you are.
I will always be one bad choice away from a relapse.
I am not strong enough to hold anyone accountable.
You are only as accountable as you are honest.
Make a phone call before the fall.
Shut up, listen, and do not defend.
If you have the thought: I can handle it. You already relapsed.
I know about Jesus; I want to know about you.
Stop hiding behind Jesus.
His behaviors are not the reason you’re in my office…
The Bible is about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit along with their freewill and choices.
Recovery is about your freewill and choices.
I am done with Churchianity.
Alcohol and marijuana have never benefited any couple or individual in this process.
Bring recovery into your home with your children and grandchildren.
Do you know the difference between your emotions and your thoughts?
Not every negative emotion or thought you have is true.
If you are feeling negative emotions, you are believing a lie.
You lie to yourself before you lie to others.
Men AND women lie, just differently.
You are 100% responsible for the people you have harmed.
You are 100% responsible for forgiving the people that have harmed you.
Most people do not know what forgiveness is.
Forgiveness is about ceasing to accuse.
How are the deceased supposed to ask you for forgiveness?
How do you define forgiveness?
That list of complaints you have about your partner is not their problem…it’s your problem.
The deceptive thing about deception is that it is so deceptive.
If you are offended, you are already deceived emotional, relationally, and spiritually.
Do you know how they capture monkeys in the wild?
You are a double fisted monkey.
You are in a prison.
The key, lock, and handle are all in the inside.
It is up to you to set yourself free.
Move from Recovery to Discovery.
If you are unteachable and entitled, you are not ready for recovery yet.
Your secrets will keep you sick.
Come out… the water is great.
If you want to believe the lies, keep watching the news.
If you want to know the truth, go watch a Marvel movie.
Do you know what scrying is?
That word doesn’t mean what you think it means.
Recovery is about coming out of Cognitive Dissonance.
Recovery is about coming out of Stockholm Syndrome.
Recovery is about re-integrating the fragmented parts of you.
There are 4 parts: the ego, super ego, id and the observer.
The more you can remain the observer the healthier you will become.
Marriage is like flies on a window. Those on the inside want out, and those on the outside want in.
You suffer from anxiety when your behaviors do not match your beliefs.
Are you a want-to in recovery?
Are you a have-to in recovery?
You can change your behaviors to match your beliefs, and your anxiety will go away.
Stay in anxiety long enough, and you will suffer from depression.
Stay depressed long enough, and you will medicate it with an addiction.
If you’re human, you are an addict!
This will be the most difficult AND best week of your life.
Some addictions are just more socially acceptable than others.
Pain is an external motivator.
Priority is an internal motivator.
Change will happen when the pain you are in is greater than the pain of change.
Pain is a great motivator.
Your smallest choices are your biggest victories.
Your biggest victories are in your smallest choices.
You have divine appointments 15 years from now.
The choices you make today will determine if you make these appointments.
Go change the world!

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.