In the attempt to help set individuals and couples free from Cognitive Dissonance and Stockholm Syndrome, (Read Cognitive Dissonance in Recovery) which are usually entangled with their codependency, I have found that both men and women have lost their voice.  More specifically, they have never been told they could have a voice. Even more explicitly, it has been stolen or ignored by those around them.  They feel unheard, unloved, unvalued and unworthy.

In my pursuit of truth, I have realized most citizens of governments have consented to things they were not even aware of, as I have written in my two-part blog in understanding Maritime Law. (Read Exchanging the Debt of Shame with the Currency of Forgiveness)

In fact, in my research, ALL citizens have been manipulated and tricked into consenting to things they are not aware of with legal logistics of language. Don’t take my word for it.  Seek the truth for yourself.

In relationships, this also happens when a child is raised in a dysfunctional, neglectful or abusive home.  They grow up and continue to believe what they have been told, what they can and cannot do, say, or believe.  This results in a codependent prison that they feel they cannot escape. Yet, the only thing keeping them in prison is nothing more than themselves, and the things they have unknowingly or subconsciously consented to.

Take some time and read through the list.  Speak them out loud.  Some you will need to speak these out loud regularly.  Some you will want or need to SCREAM them out loud! Freedom is not free.  You will have to fight for it.

Which ones do you agree with?  Which ones do you disagree with? Which ones make you feel anger, joy, peace, sadness, or grief?  Make a list of your own. Share what you have learned with others and share this list with your partner so you can break free together.

  1. I Do Not Consent to an abusive relationship or environment.
  2. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by the abuses I’ve endured.
  3. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by achievements
  4. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by cultural traditions, holidays, or expectations.
  5. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by family traditions.
  6. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by money.
  7. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my addictions.
  8. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my age.
  9. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my cultural heritage.
  10. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my failures.
  11. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my flaws.
  12. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my job, career or what I do for a living.
  13. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my own limited beliefs.
  14. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my past.
  15. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my physical appearance.
  16. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my physical handicaps.
  17. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my race.
  18. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my sexuality.
  19. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my success.
  20. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my traumas.
  21. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by my victories.
  22. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by neglects done to me.
  23. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by present.
  24. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by the color of my skin.
  25. I Do Not Consent to being defined/limited by titles.
  26. I Do Not Consent to feeling guilty to comply or obey.
  27. I Do Not Consent to being labeled a “sinner.”
  28. I Do Not Consent to being loved for what I do.
  29. I Do Not Consent to being made to believe “I am bad.”
  30. I Do Not Consent to being made to feel bad for saying “no” and maintaining boundaries.
  31. I Do Not Consent to being offended.
  32. I Do Not Consent to being perpetrated.
  33. I Do Not Consent to being put-upon by others.
  34. I Do Not Consent to being responsible for your positive or negative feelings.
  35. I Do Not Consent to being responsible for your thoughts.
  36. I Do Not Consent to being responsible for other people’s behaviors or actions.
  37. I Do Not Consent to being defined by right or wrong.
  38. I Do Not Consent to being shamed.
  39. I Do Not Consent to being shunned.
  40. I Do Not Consent to being silenced.
  41. I Do Not Consent to being who you think I should be.
  42. I Do Not Consent to believing “I will be happy when _____.” Or “I will be complete when ____.”
  43. I Do Not Consent to believing I am incomplete.
  44. I Do Not Consent to believing loving myself first is selfish.
  45. I Do Not Consent to believing you, others or society “owes me.”
  46. I Do Not Consent to bitterness.
  47. I Do Not Consent to codependency of others.
  48. I Do Not Consent to coercion.
  49. I Do Not Consent to dishonesty.
  50. I Do Not Consent to dualism or polarity.
  51. I Do Not Consent to either/or thinking or options.
  52. I Do Not Consent to half-truths.
  53. I Do Not Consent to having to agree or disagree.
  54. I Do Not Consent to having to agree with you.
  55. I Do Not Consent to lack and scarcity being my reality.
  56. I Do Not Consent to lies.
  57. I Do Not Consent to limiting my dreams.
  58. I Do Not Consent to manipulation.
  59. I Do Not Consent to meeting demands/expectations I cannot meet.
  60. I Do Not Consent to my honesty and vulnerability being used against me.
  61. I Do Not Consent to my own anxiety.
  62. I Do Not Consent to my own codependency.
  63. I Do Not Consent to my vulnerability being viewed as a weakness.
  64. I Do Not Consent to perversion.
  65. I Do Not Consent to political, scientific or religious dogma.
  66. I Do Not Consent to propaganda.
  67. I Do Not Consent to putting the needs of others before my own.
  68. I Do Not Consent to putting the wants of others before my own.
  69. I Do Not Consent to resentments.
  70. I Do Not Consent to the dualism of capitalism or socialism.
  71. I Do Not Consent to the exploitation of children.
  72. I Do Not Consent to the exploitation of the poor.
  73. I Do Not Consent to the fear of the future.
  74. I Do Not Consent to the indoctrination of all religions.
  75. I Do Not Consent to the indoctrination of any government.
  76. I Do Not Consent to the indoctrination of the educational system.
  77. I Do Not Consent to the indoctrination of the monetary and banking system.
  78. I Do Not Consent to the judgments of others.
  79. I Do Not Consent to the problem/reaction/solution matrix.
  80. I Do Not Consent to the live/buy/consume/die lie.
  81. I Do Not Consent to the live/sin/repent indoctrination of religion.
  82. I Do Not Consent to living as a slave to the matrix/my ego.
  83. I Do Not Consent to the status quo.
  84. I Do Not Consent to the thoughts of my ego.
  85. I Do Not Consent to toxic relationships.
  86. I Do Not Consent to unforgiveness toward myself.
  87. I Do Not Consent to unforgiveness toward others.
  88. I Do Not Consent to victim thoughts, feelings or behaviors.
  89. I Do Not Consent to you being offended with me or others.
  90. I Do Not Consent to you believing “I am bad if…”
  91. I Do Not Consent to you believing “I am good if…”
  92. I Do Not Consent to you deciding my priorities.
  93. I Do Not Consent to your agenda.
  94. I Do Not Consent to your anger.
  95. I Do Not Consent to your anxiety.
  96. I Do Not Consent to your beliefs of me or others having to be mine.
  97. I Do Not Consent to your feelings of me or others having to be mine.
  98. I Do Not Consent to your ignorance.
  99. I Do Not Consent to your insecurities to make me or others feel small.
  100. I Do Not Consent to your journey/path having to be mine.
  101. I Do Not Consent to your labels of me or others.
  102. I Do Not Consent to your need to feel less-than or better-than.
  103. I Do Not Consent to your opinions of me or others having to be mine.
  104. I Do Not Consent to your thoughts of me or others having to be mine.
  105. I Do Not Consent to your timeline of events for me.
  106. I Do Not Consent to your values or standards being mine.
  107. I Do Not Consent to “or else…” threats.
  108. I Do Not Consent to “political correctness.”
  109. I Do Not Consent to a banking system determining my value.
  110. I Do Not Consent to a credit and debit political, economic and social system.
  111. I Do Not Consent to all work and no play.
  112. I Do Not Consent to all play and no work.
  113. I Do Not Consent to all or nothing thinking.
Cory Schortzman, Executive Director

Cory Schortzman, Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.

Kerry’s books include: Ashes to Beauty the Book and Ashes to Beauty the Workbook

Co-authored books include: 101 Blogs to Transform your Life, Volume I and Offended Deceived Addicted

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