Forgiveness Part 4 | Staying Out of the Monkey Trap

More now than ever, I am seeing very little difference between people who are in the church and those outside the church. Remember, Jesus warns us of this in Matthew. Those who believe in Jesus are just as offended with the world and other believers.

Satan has done a number on the church, dividing it into Catholics and Protestants, which are subdivided into Roman Catholic and Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Methodist, Assemblies of God, Christian Missionary Alliance, Mormon, Later Day Saints, etc. The list goes on and on. The body of Christ, churches and denominations within themselves, are dividing over wine and grape juice issues as well as small and large theological differences.

Religion is nothing more than our human attempt to explain spirituality. Some of the most horrific things in human history have been done in the name of religion and its understanding of God and the spiritual.

The offended believer is deceived and does the work of Satan as long as they refuse to let go of their real or imagined offenses. According to 2 Timothy, they are unable to fully hear from God as they should since they are ensnared by Satan and doing his will.

One of the things we teach our clients is to believe what people do, not what people say. We call this believe behavior. Behavior tells you more than mere words. People will say anything to get you to believe them. After a period of time, people’s words and behaviors will eventually tell you what they believe.

When working with clients in my office, I often ask couples and individuals a few questions about heaven and salvation.

Therapist: “Do you believe you will go to heaven after this life?”

Client: “Yes, I believe so.”

Therapist: “Why?”

Client: “Because I prayed the sinner’s prayer/salvation prayer. I asked Jesus into my heart.”

Therapist: “Can you show me where that prayer is in the Bible?”

Client: “Well, no. I guess not.”

Therapist: “The closest thing I have found is in Romans 10:9-10: ‘If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.’”

Personally, I used to believe once saved, always saved; however, I began to read the Bible and what it really says.

Jesus states in Matthew 7:22-23,

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons, and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’“

Jesus says here that He did not know you. It’s that He never knew you. What is He talking about? Surely, you may think He is talking about the unsaved, the unbeliever, and the unchurched. However, the fact is He is talking to the church and the believers. He never knew them and calls them evildoers. This is referring to individuals who thought they knew Jesus, but Jesus did not know them. This is a scary passage and a harsh reality of truth.

I think Jesus is saying that it’s just not enough to simply believe in Him or say you know Him and do fancy things in His name for your own sake. Jesus is watching not only our behavior but our heart’s motive while participating in the behavior.

In the RSV, Proverbs 21:7 says, “As a man believes in his heart so he is.”

In other words, you will become what you believe. Not only can we look at behavior but also an individual’s words.

Luke 6:45 (NLT) says, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.”

The mouth speaks what is in the heart. Your mouth will betray you and what is in your heart. The things in many believers’ hearts are very ugly based on the way they speak as well as how they behave and treat everyone around them.

Contrary to many Western religious teachings, to pray a prayer or believe in Jesus does not necessarily put you in good graces with Jesus who you might call your daddy. Based on the behaviors of many believers, they are not doing the works of Jesus but rather the works of the enemy, Satan. Since they have fallen into the trap of offense, they are deceived and don’t even know it.

You may ask, “Are we not saved by grace?” Yes, indeed we are. However, grace is on the side of pre-salvation and post-salvation. Later, we are going to look at God’s warnings when grace is abused and when obedience is forgotten.

The Bait of Satan by John Bevere talks extensively about the trap and snare of being offended. Once a person is offended and believes their rights have been violated, or they have been mistreated, whether that mistreatment is real or imagined, they become deceived.

It is much like a monkey who is caught in a hand trap. The trappers set a hand trap that allows the monkey to insert its narrow hand into the trap to grab the food or bait. Once the monkey grabs the fruit, its hand is now larger. Since the monkey’s hand is now a fist, it attempts to remove the fruit from the trap and is now stuck. The monkey struggles to pull itself free with the treasured food. However, the monkey believes the only way out is to be rescued or set free by someone AND be allowed to keep the food. The problem is the monkey is deceived, as this will never happen. This will cost him his life.

However, the monkey has the power to free itself by simply letting go of the banana, or in our case, the offense. To be free of this trap or deception, you have to let go of the “banana” or the offenses in your life.

Many of us today are much like the monkey with our hand in a trap—deceived. We believe our real and imagined rights have been violated, and we want justice. We want the wrong to be made right, and we will go to great lengths to make sure this happens. The problem is, as long as we stay offended and choose not to let go of the fruit or offense, we are deceived emotionally, spiritually, physically, sexually, financially, and relationally in every way and don’t even know it. Nor will we believe it to be true even as we read this blog.

“But Cory, you don’t understand what they did to me!”

You’re right. I don’t, nor will I fully experience what you experienced. However, the Word of God is true, and there is no way around it. We will have to let go of any and all offenses to set ourselves free from the deception we are in. Until then, we will stay stuck and addicted to our vices (Offended Deceived Addicted, pages 34-37).

Are you a monkey holding onto the hurts, offenses, expectations, or ideals of what life was supposed to be like and how others have not come to you to ask for forgiveness? What are the offenses and bait that you are refusing to let go of? What has it cost you? You are the only one that can set yourself free.

Cory Schortzman Executive Director

Cory Schortzman is an author, speaker, teacher and licensed mental health professional. Since 2008, he has served as the Executive Director of Transformed Hearts Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, CO. He is the founder of SARA, the Sexual Addiction Recovery Association. Cory is passionate about helping couples and individuals overcome sex addiction. He is also passionate about bringing awareness to the public and supporting the elimination of sex and human trafficking. Cory has been married since 1998 to his beautiful wife, Kerry, and lives in Colorado with their four daughters. He and Kerry have been seen on the CBS Early Show, Inside Edition, and ABC Good Morning America, Fox 21 News, and TLC/Discovery discussing the harm of sex addiction and the joys of recovery. He has also been heard on numerous radio programs.

Cory’s books include: Out of the Darkness, Into the Light the Workbook, Into the Light the Steps, Ashes to Beauty the Steps, 301 Dating Ideas, 301 Conversational Ideas, 301 Ways to Say I Love You, 301 Ways to Love Your Children & 301 Recovery Tools & Tips.